“Being a parent is like wearing your heart on the outside of your body for the rest of your life.”
It is true. So incredibly, painfully, remarkably true. I can’t imagine a better way to describe parenthood, except maybe being put under house arrest by a tiny tyrant and being sort of okay with it.
The tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy went like a medical journal case study. Exactly what we didn’t want to happen: lots of pain lasting exactly 14 days, no eating, loss of weight, crying jags, incoherent babbling, downright misery and turmoil. And that was just me.
We’re back to normal now. On the 14th and 15th days, my dear daughter has probably gained back the six pounds she lost due to her fear of swallowing. She has, once again, returned to Francophilian lifestyle she so eagerly embraces: Love, thy name is Cheese.
It was hard. The doctor said it would be hard. I sort of laughed inside myself and said, “Well, we’ve had a hard four years,” which we have had.
Today, I had to wake my daughter up. Granted, a friend gave me a black curtain to block out the sun so she could rest the last two weeks, but I do think she got the first really good night of sleep that she has ever had.
She went to school today and was so missed by her mates that they all ran to greet her. Of course she was overwhelmed, but quickly fell back into the old routine after I left. I picked her up half-day. She was glad to see me, yes. Her friends? Not so much.
I will let her ease back into her little life and routines. I will not push her to be something she isn’t. Remember, she is four-and-a-half. Not nearly 40 years old. She can take as long as she likes to recover from what was most certainly the most traumatic thing she has ever endured. (Her birth story is one of silence and wide-eyed surprise, so much so that the doctors and nurses were all concerned by the tiny little quiet wonder. She spent the first few minutes of her life simply staring at people. I knew that she was merely “taking it all in” and thinking in her little brain ‘This crap had better be worth it.’ And so far, it is.)